I cannot stress this enough to married couples:
If you want to keep the marriage DATE YOUR WIFE (or husband)! How can you keep something growing if you don't pay attention to it? Dating is like watering the flower of your marriage ? . When I say dating I mean spending concentrated time outside of the house together. No kids, no work, no household tasks, no distractions. Doesn't matter so much of what you do, just do it TOGETHER. Make it a priority. For real for real.
Just because you are in the same room with your spouse doesn't mean that you all are spending quality time together. Roommates can do be in the same room, but experience little to no connection at all. It's like you bringing a pitcher of water and setting it next to the flower of your marriage...just because the water is in close proximity doesn't mean that the flower is actually receiving water. Many couples get so used to being around each other that they forget to be WITH each other. Then over time the other person changes (which life will naturally do to you) and you will feel like your spouse is a stranger - Because you were NOT consistently getting to know them again every week as they changed. But dating will keep you close. Locked in. On par with their changes, challenges, desires, heart shifts, passions, and serious warning signs.
Niki and I have had dozens of DEEP meaningful conversations that brought out important points...where did they happen? DATE NIGHT. Away from the noise and distractions of life - In a focused and intimate conversation. Niki and I try to date once a week. We have to make time for it. We eat out, go to plays, shop, walk around town, travel occasionally, go to a movie, go to dance class/karaoke, etc. If you are on a budget, there are low cost options too: walking in the park, taking a bike ride, picnics, library (yes I said library lol)... you get the idea. Just do something! It's critically important if you want to divorce-proof your marriage. You can never grow something that you refuse to pay attention to.
If you WANT your marriage, treat it like so. Date your spouse and never let go. ❤️